The Innocent Witnesses: How domestic violence destroys a Child’s Future.

In some  Nigerian homes, domestic violence is treated like a private matter that neighbors should ignore. But we forget the small eyes watching from the corner of the room. When the husband hits the wife or abuse the her in other ways, the children don’t just watch they absorb it in their memory.

These children are the silent victim in the home, it’s not until they be the one being hit or feel the pain of abuse, what they see cause fear in their heart, changes their brain, attitude and also a chance of living a good life.

The Heavy Load on Their Mental Health

When there is violence in the home, the children are never safe. They see this actions and they live their life in constant fear and that is where real problem starts in their life.

Living in Permanent Fear: These children mental health is being affected that they live their life in constant fear. They jump up in fear when there is a shot near by or even when door is being slammed. They are constantly waiting for the next fight to start.

Deep Sadness (Depression): This violence causes sadness in the life of the children. They often feel it is their fault that their parents are fighting, leading to very low self-esteem.

Transferring the Aggression: Some children start bullying other kids at school or become very stubborn and aggressive because that is the only way they’ve seen adults handle problems.

How it Ruins Their Education

A child who have the fear of violence programmed into him might find it hard to concentrate in the class and this is where failure begins.

You cannot expect a child who watched a violent fight last night to pass a Maths test this morning. Their education suffers in these ways:

Empty Brain in Class: While the teacher is talking, the child is thinking about whether their mom is safe at home. They cannot concentrate, and they find it hard to understand what is being taught.

Failing Grades: These children are faced with Tirana, they stop doing assignments and their positions in class drop. An intelligent child can suddenly start failing in their academics.

Trouble at School: These children often get into trouble with teachers or other children in school. They might be a maniac in  the class or acting out just because they don’t know how to express their pain. This leads to suspensions or even being expelled.

Avoiding School (Absenteeism): Sometimes they miss school because they are too depressed to move, or they are afraid to leave their abused parent alone at home.

The chain must be broken

We cannot keep quiet while our children’s futures are being burnt down by violence. To help them, we must:

Stop the Violence: The child must be protected and be kept away from where they witness violence. They can not heal when they remain in that environment.

Encourage Them to Talk: These children faced with this trauma should talk to a counselor or a trusted adult who can assure them that it’s not their fault and that they can scale through from it.

Teachers Must Be Observant: Our teachers should also be able to see outside the stubborn child, a traumatized child might be a result of domestic violence.

Community Support: In Nigeria, we say “it takes a village to raise a child.” If we go by this statement then it should take a village to protect the child. If you see a child in your neighborhood suffering from this, don’t just look away.

No child deserves to grow up in a house that feels like a prison. Let us protect their mental health so they can grow up to be the leaders they were meant to be.