Recently, a woman shared her experience of abuse in her marriage online, exposing her husband’s toxic behavior. However, within 24 hours, she returned to declare that her husband is a “good man” and that she does not regret marrying him.
This abrupt change in narrative might seem confusing or contradictory, but it could be an indicator of trauma bonding or Stockholm Syndrome—psychological responses where victims form emotional attachments to their abusers.
What is Trauma Bonding?
Trauma bonding happens when someone in an abusive relationship develops a strong emotional connection to their abuser. The cycle of abuse—periods of harm followed by apologies, affection, or promises to change—creates a confusing and addictive emotional rollercoaster. Victims often justify the abuse, blame themselves, or feel unable to leave, even when the harm is evident.
Stockholm Syndrome: A Close Relative
Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where victims develop sympathy or loyalty to their oppressors. While originally associated with hostage situations, it can also occur in abusive relationships. Victims come to see their abusers as protectors, overlooking the harm inflicted and clinging to the moments of perceived kindness.
Why This Happens
1. Emotional Dependency: Abusers often isolate their victims, eroding their self-worth and making them believe they are unworthy of better treatment.
2. Fear and Survival Instincts: Victims may align with their abuser to avoid further harm.
3. Hope for Change: Many victims believe that the abuser’s “good side” will eventually prevail.
The Case Study
The woman’s conflicting statements are a textbook example. She initially sought help by speaking out, a sign that she recognizes the abuse. However, her retraction may reflect fear of consequences, societal pressure, or deep-seated psychological conditioning.
Why This Matters
Understanding trauma bonding and Stockholm Syndrome is crucial for offering the right support. Instead of judging victims for “staying” or “changing their story,” we must approach them with compassion. They need safe spaces, professional help, and consistent encouragement to break free from the cycle of abuse.
This woman’s conflicting statements highlight the invisible chains that keep victims trapped. Instead of judgment, we must offer understanding, safe spaces, and consistent support.
At Comfort Empowerment and Advocacy Foundation (CEAF, we are committed to helping abuse survivors reclaim their lives. If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can create a future free of fear and pain.
Let this story remind us to listen without judgment and educate ourselves about the invisible chains that bind victims to their abusers.