My name is Veronica, and I am 29 years old. I am from Abia state but reside in Lagos with my fiance, who will soon be my husband.
I am excited to get married in a few weeks but also scared. Please, I need your advice.
I met my fiance in 2017. He told me how much he loved me and wanted me to be his woman, and he promised to take care of me and my family if I accepted to be his woman.
I accepted his request because I am from an inferior home, I have three siblings, and we all stay in the village with our parents.
I am the first daughter of my family, and I couldn’t bear to see my family suffer. My dad has been on sick beds for three years, and my mother has cared for the family.
My siblings and I also do odd jobs to contribute to the family.
When I met Ebuka, I felt it was a dream come true, a way to bring my family out of poverty.
Ebuka and I started dating in 2017, and in 2018, he asked me to leave the village and join him in Lagos; I was so excited about the news, so I quickly packed my things and headed for Lagos the following week, and that was when our problem started.
Immediately I started staying with him in Lagos. He started sending money to my parent for their upkeep and my father’s medications.
A few weeks later, One day, he got home from work, and I noticed that he was unhappy about something; as a good woman, I tried asking him what the matter was, but instead, I ended up receiving a slap from him, and that was how the abuse in my relationship started. The next day he bought me a gift and told me how sorry he was and that it was the devil’s work, I forgave him and let it go, and we returned to being a happy couple.
A few weeks later, I told my boyfriend that I would like to look for a job or he could start a small business for me, but he refused; even after my pleading, he still refused, so I let it be.
One night I decided to talk to him about it again. Still, he slapped me and said I don’t listen to him and that I am too stubborn, “he said, I don’t want you to work, and that’s final; Even though that was not the first time he raised his hands on me, I have always been patient with him, hoping and praying that he’d change.
This has continued for years, and every time I tried to leave him, he would beg and cry and promise never to hit me again, but he never stopped.
A few weeks ago, he proposed to me, and I said yes because I am pregnant and love him so much, and he takes excellent care of my family.
Although he has promised never to hit me again and has kept that promise for a few weeks now, I am still scared that he will continue to hit me after marriage.
I complained to my mother about the beating, but she said I should pray for him to change, “she said; only a patient woman will reap the good fruit of marriage;
I am confused; I have spent almost all my youthful years with this man; where do I go with pregnancy? I can’t take care of a child by myself.
Where do I start?
Should I manage the situation?
Should I forget about what my family and society would say and walk away?
Please, what do I do?